OOM: Upstairs Milliways

[eleutherios]

Eros stands outside of apartment 111, and waits. And winces.

"Hub bub bub bub."

"I hope you're not drooling again," he says, hesitantly.

"Bub bub bub bub."

"You are, aren't you?"

"Bub bub!"

"What did I tell you? If you're going to argue then you're going to have to use normal words like everyone else."

There is a long pause. Then, the voice which had previously been speaking nonsense says, "Down."

"Fine."

Eros complies, kneeling down and swinging the small child off of his shoulder, letting her stand on the floor. She wobbles slightly but stands upright, using one hand to grasp his trousers. Apparently pleased with herself, she turns to look up at Eros, fixing him with a stern look through her golden blond curls.

"Bear."

Brushing off his knees as he stands upright, Eros reaches for the pocket of his finely-tailored suit jacket, which is bulging in a most unfashionable manner - stuffed as it is with plush animal. After a brief moment of wrestling and one or two snapped stitches, he, grumbling, pulls out a teddy bear. It's not quite a regular teddy bear - for one thing it's been modelled more on a grizzly than anything else, and its tiny plastic fangs and claws clearly state: Serious Business.

The child takes the bear and immediately sticks its head into her mouth.

Eros continues his wait, watching the door and looking pained.

A minute or so passes.

Finally the little girl takes the bear's head out of her mouth again. "Open," she says firmly.

"It's not quite that simple," Eros mumbles.

The girl seems to consider this. "Open!" And she swings the bear like a weapon.

"No, wait, I'm not quite ready to -!"

But it's too late. The bear strikes the door three times with surprising force, resulting in a tone that could only be described as a knock.

Eros sighs, and covers his eyes with one hand. "Oh, here we go."

Comments

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Er," says Eros, but the child interrupts with a "Rarr!" and a wholehearted swing of the bear at Goldy's shin. Eros quickly scoops her up before too much damage can be made.

"Hi," he tries again, giving Goldy a rather sheepish grin. "Long time no see. Um. What am I late for?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy can't help but smirk at the child's bold attempt—it's cute and amusing. She stoically cools her expression when she turns it back onto Eros though, and echoes none of his greetings.

"Valentine's has come and gone," she reveals. The hour itself may be late, but that's not what she was referring to. "I thought you would at least have put in an appearance."

A pointed look is aimed at the child.

"It seems you've been busy elsewhere though."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

There's a drawn-out pause, just slightly too long, before Eros spits out his next answer: "Babysitting!

"I mean. I've been... babysitting. Uh, obviously. The woman who has the apartment next to mine in Manhattan, she had to go on a business trip for a couple of days so I've been..." The child grabs his nose, leaving the rest of his words oddly muffled and nasal, "...looking after her daughter."

He gives Goldy a helpless look. "She keeps doing... baby things."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Really?"

"That's unexpected," Goldy deadpans, "given that she is one."

She's unaffected by his apparent despair. In fact, she seems mildly skeptical of it.

"Let me get this straight. You took a mundane babysitting job over spreading love on your traditional day of celebration?"

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros rolls his eyes, though the impact of the expression is somewhat deadened by the tiny hand still clutching his face.

"People fall in love every day without my direct interference. Even on Valentine's day. Besides, Hallmark's pretty much got it covered these days -- can we come in already?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"I suppose so," Goldy replies, and ever so reluctantly steps aside.

"Would you mind telling me why you're here?"

"It's clearly not for sex. And you can't possibly have brought your charge for me to help look after," she advances. "I have close to zero child-rearing experience, and possess the least maternal instincts of any female in history."

Or maybe he just doesn't know her very well.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros passes Goldy, stepping into the room and letting the girl down again. Then the words sink in, and he spins to face Goldy again.

"Oh."

Shoulders slouching with defeat, he asks, "Really?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Basically, yes."

Goldy heads back to the bed, ignoring the child for the most part. Once there, she settles back into her repose and starts on her manicure work again.

"I don't mind young children, in small doses. But I lived an entirely child-free life until I came here. Since, I've spent a little time with Claire's son and Alanna's triplets. So I'm not completely incompetent. Nevertheless, I'm still at the bottom of pretty much every babysitting list in existence."

Her criminal reputation doesn't help with that. Nor do her nymphomaniac ways.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know who else to turn to. I was hoping..."

He trails off, and shakes his head. Hands stuffed into his pockets, he wanders slowly towards the apartment's large windows overlooking the lake.

The child, meanwhile, oblivious to the drama, begins to wander about the room, happily going from the closet door to the dresser to the TV and attacking each in turn with meaningful but ineffective hits from the bear. Eventually she makes her way over to the bed, where she sticks the animal's head in her mouth and peers over the edge at Goldy's activity with keen interest.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy offers the child a pleasant enough smile, but nothing else. The clippers snick periodically, until all ten nails have been trimmed. Next comes the emery board, to smooth those rough edges away. It skims and scrapes with a delicate whizzing sound.

"Hoping that I would bail your ass out?" she hazards, when it becomes clear that Eros is not going to finish that thought. "Even after you dismissed me so rudely, and without any explanation, the last time we were together."

"Heh. Think again, buster."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

The god continues to stare out the window, but the darkness of the world outside serves to indicate that this action is more to avoid meeting Goldy's eyes than anything. Idly he takes one hand from a pocket and drags a finger through a small patch of collected condensation, shaping aimless forms.

"I'm sorry. The last time we spoke I... told you I couldn't stay. There was something I had to get back to, remember?"

He takes a slow breath.

"There's something I need to confess."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"Finally," Goldy retorts, eyes rolling slightly.

She slips the emery board back into its pouch, where it aligns with several other tools, and gives Eros her full and undivided attention.

Or, it would be undivided, if the toddler wasn't trying to clamber onto the bed at this precise moment. She doesn't have the upper body strength to accomplish the task though, and promptly starts to slide back. As tiny fingers clutch at the duvet cover in vain, her determined frown starts to turn into wide-eyed fear...

"No you don't," Goldy says, in a far kinder tone.

She quickly leans over and grabs the rear straps of the child's corduroy overalls, stopping the descent towards the floor. She then continues to take the child's weight, allowing the mattress top summit to be reached.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

The girl looks so happy to have accomplished her feat that Eros can't help but smile, albeit briefly, at her reaction. He crosses the room halfway to keep an eye on her as she pads about the bed, resorting to crawling in an effort to keep her balance on the unsteady surface.

"The truth is I had to get back to my place - and back to her." He catches Goldy's eye, and nods towards the child. "She's... my daughter."

As if realizing she's being spoken about, the girl stops her exploration and flops into a sitting position, bear clutched tightly in one hand. She glances at Eros, then Goldy - and between her golden curls, bright blue eyes, and chubby baby-fat cheeks, new adjectives begin to become valid as descriptors for her expression. 'Cherubic' is one of them.

"Um. Did I mention that the businesswoman next door has a fantastic ass?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy cocks her head and blinks in disbelief.

"Is that it?" she then sneers. "I thought you said I'd be angry?"

And look! She isn't. She actually laughs.

"Why would I care about that? I'm sure she's not the first child you've spawned over the years. And it's not like we're an exclusive couple, by any stretch of the imagination."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

It's a long time before Eros has any reaction except to stare.

"Wow, you took that much better than I expected. I figured because - we had a thing and - I don't know, children always make these things seem a lot more... long-term."

He takes another couple steps closer to the bed, and sits beside it, draping his arms onto the duvet. The girl takes the opportunity to reach out and grab hold of a thumb.

"And I suppose there was a part of me that wouldn't have been horribly upset if... we had ended up... long-term."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

There's another blink of surprise at his concluding comments.

"Wow. I'm flattered." And she does offer him a smile here, for all that it's slightly strained. "You're an amazing lover, and a pretty decent companion to boot. But... you know I don't do the commitment thing. And I know that you don't either, even if there are offspring in the equation."

"So, yes, I'm fine."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

And after a moment Eros does smile back, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Okay. Good.

"I'm sure you're right, of course. We're good together, but something serious like that isn't really in either of our styles."

He shifts his weight, consequently pulling his hand away from the little girl, who pouts and slaps the duvet once or twice with her palm.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"No, it's really not," the Fable says, nodding her agreement.

"Next time you have something that you think I'll react adversely to, just spit it out. I can be very reasonable when it's clear that people are attempting to be honest with me."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Uh."

Eros only looks mildly shifty. Really.

Meanwhile, the girl, annoyed with the lack of attention, smacks the bed a couple more times. When this has no result, she gets unsteadily to her feet.

"Actually, since you mention it..."

But he doesn't get a chance to finish the thought: the child makes a very wobbly run for him, and the end of the bed. Locomotion is a new experience for her, and it's quickly clear she'll be unable to stop in time.

And then: boo-boo city.

Eros lunges for the tumbling child, crying: "Sunshine! Look out!"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy is too far away to help avert disaster this time. She watches as the god manages to catch the girl and rein her in. And she's about to congratulate him on a fine save when something about his warning strikes a chord with her.

"Sunshine, huh?" she queries, sounding a bit sulky. "So much for thinking that your nickname for me was special and personal."

She looks at the child, taking in the golden shade of her curls and those vibrant blue eyes.

"I suppose she and I do have some features in common though," she concedes.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Uh. Yeah," Eros says, in an attempt at offhandedness, as the little girl wriggles in his arms. "Well, you know, she's like you in a lot of ways actually. Kid throws blocks with pinpoint accuracy, I'm not kidding."

He puts her down, and she takes off - in a much steadier way - across the apartment floor.

"But I suppose that's how it works. Kids tend to get a lot of things... looks, personalities, nicknames... from their mothers."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"That's genetics for you," Goldy replies, a little distracted by the child's new found interest in the various hair product cannisters and bottles on the surface of the dresser. And in the set of straightening tongs!

"Er... you might want to—"

Something in his last comment suddenly registers in her head. She breaks off and snaps her gaze back onto him.

"Wait. What did you just say?"

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Blatantly dodging the question, Eros points at the child. "That's not plugged in, right? Because just because our daughter's a demi-god demi-Fable doesn't mean she can't get hurt."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

The tongs are not plugged in, as evidenced by the fact that the child now has the plug end in her grasp. It seems to be heading towards her mouth, for an experimental chew perhaps. Under the tension, the tongs themselves are shifting on the dresser top, and are getting perilously close to the edge above the girl's head.

Goldy doesn't address any of that however.

She's locked onto Eros, waiting for that inevitable smirk to break across his features.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Okay, I'm going to go deal with that while you sit here and let this sink in."

He hurries to his daughter's side. "Come on... Sunshine Junior. What has Daddy told you about this oral fixation?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

The smirk may not have appeared, but Goldy can't believe that this is anything but an elaborate wind up. With a cunningly and magically doctored child, perhaps. Or coincidental similarities that Eros has decided to play on. Either way, she's not buying it.

Her eyes roll and her voice drops into a dry monotone.

"You're hilarious."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"I know. It's one of the many features that attracted you to me and which also apparently happens to make me a good father to our child."

Scooping the girl back up into his arms, he carries her over to the bed, where he grabs a seat next to Goldy. He sets the child in his lap, facing the Fable.

"Sunshine. You've seen this lady before, right? You know her, don't you? Remember from those pictures daddy showed you? Those ones from the ski lodge and before you ask yes I took out the more risqué ones?"

The girl fixes Goldy with the kind of penetrating stare used only by small children and members of the Spanish Inquisition. And nods.

"Do you remember her name?"

The girl hesitates. Either that or she's enjoying the staring too much, it's difficult to tell.

"Come on, Sunshine. What's her name?"

She glances away, apparently bored with the whole situation; then she says: "Mommy."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

At the utterance of that single word, color drains from Goldy's face. She recovers though, albeit slowly, and aims an unimpressed scowl at Eros.

"That's just mean. Telling her that I'm her mother when there's no way in the multiverse that I am."

Her voice is wavering somewhat. She doesn't sound quite as certain any more.

"Why would you do that?"

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

The wavering does not go unnoticed. Eros leaps on the weakness like a hoard of hungry squirrels on Mister Peanut.

"Oh, you're her mother alright. We had sex - I'm sure you haven't forgotten - and as a direct result of that action my nigh-omnipotent sperm did their duty and fertilized one of your ready and waiting ova."

The girl continues to look bored and oblivious, and begins to mumble to herself. "Hub bub bub bub..."

"The cells then multiplied over and over again until they created this wonderfully charming little human being," Eros continues. "Well, human-shaped anyway. So yes. You're the mother. You just didn't actually give birth to her."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy's heart is starting to beat a lot faster, and there's a horrible feeling starting to well in the pit of her stomach. She does remarkably well to mask her growing discomfort. All she offers on the exterior is a hard swallow, and a very ashen complexion.

"Really."

"You'd think I'd remember having a growing fetus removed from my womb."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros manages to free up one hand long enough to point at himself.

"Hi. God."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

His flippancy doesn't help matters at all. Feelings of horror and intense anger start to mingle in with the turbulence of emotions Goldy is experiencing right now. For the sake of the child, she's doing her best to control all of them. But, judging by the tremble of her hands, it's only a matter of time before she snaps. The only question is: in which direction.

"I... I'm not believing what I'm hearing," she stammers.

"You stole an embryo from my uterus. Without my consent. And... what? Implanted it in a random female neighbor, who subsequently gestated it and gave birth?"

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no! No no no," he says hurriedly, as he completely misinterprets her concern. "Not at all. I wouldn't have trusted a random stranger with our child. Besides, I wasn't certain human physiology could have handled it."

He presses his hands against the little girl's ears, and whispers, "I did it myself."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy's eyes get even wider.

"You? You gestated our child?"

Her blood is boiling with rage now, and it shows. But somehow she manages not to explode. The child is working as a very convenient shield against the wrath of Goldilocks. Even if Eros hadn't intended to use her that way, Goldy assumes that it was all part of his plan, and starts hating him for that too.

"What the f..."

Thinking better of the cuss word, she breaks off and takes a very deep and jittery breath. Her fingers press into her temples and her face up screws up comically as she fights to keep her anger in check.

Her daughter seems to find this amusing. She points at Goldy's contorted expression and giggles.

"Silly!"

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Uhhh..."

Eros puts his daughter down the floor and gives her a gentle shove towards the television, which is now displaying shots of a man shovelling horse manure. "Go on, Sunshine, watch the pretty ponies," he says, then turns his attention towards Goldy.

"Are you okay? Do you want some water or something?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

"I..."

Fury and nausea are waging a fierce war inside Goldy. Under a terrifying glower her cheeks are flaming red, in stark contrast to the sickly pallor that shows across the rest of her face.

That sentence never gets completed.

Without warning, she lurches off the bed and runs to the bathroom.

Sounds of violent retching soon follow.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros winces. A glance towards the girl reveals that she's no longer paying any attention to the adults, so he takes the opportunity to follow Goldy into the bathroom.

Once inside he hovers, not wanting to approach her - hunched as she is over the toilet - and swings the door behind him, leaving it slightly ajar to keep his daughter within earshot. "Uh," he begins, feeling incredibly awkward, "Anything I can do to help? I mean, I know you probably won't believe me, but I had morning sickness like a - well, like a mother for a couple weeks early on there... So I do sympathize."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy doesn't honor that revelation with a reply. On the plus side though, she seems to be all puked out for the time being. After flushing the toilet, she drags a hand across her mouth, wiping away the worst of the saliva, and shakily gets to her feet again.

A half turn and a short step brings her up to the god.

Her face is now drawn and weary. All the emotion has drained from it. She lifts her hands and, for lack of anywhere better, places them on his shoulders. Her head lolls down as she leans in and lets him take some of her weight. She seems exhausted, both physically and mentally.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros finds himself at something of a loss for words. "Sex now?" doesn't seem appropriate.

Now, how would a mortal react in this situation? Mentally, he runs down a list of possible responses, gathered from thousands of years of observing human behaviour. Ah, yes...

Gently, he pats Goldy on the back. "There, there."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy decided long before what her course of action was going to be, so his patronizing is not really a contributory factor.

The grip on his shoulders suddenly tightens.

And up comes the Fable's bare knee, with considerable force.

CHUD!

As always, her aim is perfect.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Ow."

And with knees and eyes crossing, Eros collapses like a poorly-constructed high-rise on a Fox News special.

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy draws in a deep cleansing breath.

She then looks down at the writhing god and smiles, more than satisfied with the results of her attack.

"You're getting off lightly with that," she comments.

"So think yourself lucky."

Color is already returning to her face, and she seems to be entering that state of Zen-like calm that often occurs after her more frenzied acts of violence. Such acts work cathartic wonders for her, even if they're not too constructive for the victims.

"...It's okay, sweetie," she then coos to her daughter, who has just pushed the door open in order to investigate the ruckus. Worried little eyes are trying to comprehend the scene. "Daddy just tripped. He's such a klutz sometimes."

Smiling with reassuring brightness, Goldy steps over the man in question and crouches down in front of her little girl.

"He's just pretending to be in agonizing pain. He's fine really."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Oh yeah!" adds Eros, in a voice quite different from usual. "Everything's good! No problem! Go watch TV, Sunshine!"

The girl seems to find the whole situation quite amusing. Giggling, she toddles past Goldy and begins smacking her father about the head with her stuffed bear. "Rarr!"

Eros tucks an arm over his head to defend his eyes from the bear's sharper plastic bits, but this serves only to have the girl redouble her efforts. "Et tu, Eleanor?"

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy straightens and smirks at the battering her girl is giving Eros.

"Attagirl," she says encouragingly.

Goldy has to admit to herself that she... Eleanor, is quite adorable. Surprising really. She must have inherited that aspect of her personality from her dad.

She ponders the child's name for a little while.

"Eleanor. That's actually... nice. I like it. Well done on that front, at least."

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

"Yeah - ow! I got it from a book actually. It has a deep and appropriate meaning that I'm sure I could recall were I not being subjected to cranial trauma. Eleanor!"

The little girl pulls back, pouting. Then she turns to Goldy, looking thoughtful. After a moment she holds out the animal - gently, like an offering. "Bear," she says. As an afterthought she adds, "Rarr."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Seriously touched by the gesture, Goldy's features soften even more. She accepts the toy with one of the sincerest smiles that has ever graced her face.

"Aw. Thank you, darling. Mommy likes bears."

"Very much."

It's not like a millennium's worth of locked up maternal instincts are suddenly bursting free. But it's a start. Where it goes from here remains to be seen...

The Fable ushers her child out of bathroom then starts to leave herself. As an afterthought she turns on her heel and returns to the fallen god's side.

A hand is silently offered to him.

[winged-eros.livejournal.com]

Eros flinches at first, expecting further violence. When none is forthcoming, he glances cautiously up at Goldy between his fingers.

"Oh."

Slowly but keenly he breaks into a grin. Grateful for this sign of forgiveness, he grabs hold of her helping hand, and uses it to pull himself up, babbling all the while.

"I knew this would be a good idea. I mean at first I was sort of afraid, but I knew that once you actually met her you'd see, she's a really great kid. The three of us together... it'll be great."

[3rdtimelucky.livejournal.com]

Goldy's faint smile doesn't match his enthusiasm at all. That should set off some alarm bells. But apparently it doesn't.

She waits until he's upright.

Then slams her fist into his gut.

So much for forgiveness.

"Mommy?"

"Coming, sweetie!"